Study Finds Rekindling Old Friendships Can Be as Daunting as Making New Ones

A recent study conducted by researchers from the University of Sussex and Simon Fraser University has found that reconnecting with old friends can be just as intimidating as forming new friendships. The study, which analyzed responses from 2,500 participants, revealed that 90% had lost touch with someone they still cared about, yet 70% felt neutral or negative about reaching out to rekindle the friendship.

The researchers discovered that people are surprisingly hesitant to contact past friends, despite the fact that it takes around 200 hours of contact to turn a new acquaintance into a close friend. Participants cited reasons such as feeling uneasy, guilty, and fearing rejection for their reluctance to reach out. Interestingly, they were just as reluctant to reconnect with an old friend as they were to perform tasks like picking up garbage or talking to a stranger.

"People are often as hesitant to reconnect with old friends as they are to strike up a conversation with a stranger, even when they still care about the friendship," said the researchers. They found that this reluctance stems from a fear of rejection or indifference, as people assume their old friend has moved on and won't be as excited to reconnect. However, the study revealed that these fears are often inaccurate, and that old friends are likely also thinking about each other and wishing they could reconnect.

Why this matters: Social relationships are deeply linked to overall well-being, and rekindling old friendships can be a valuable source of happiness and support. The findings of this study highlight the psychological barriers that prevent people from reaching out and provide insights into how these barriers can be overcome.

The study found that when people practiced social connection with current friends, they became more confident about reaching out to an old friend. The researchers suggest that implementing specific interventions, such as practicing social interactions within existing networks, can help overcome the reluctance to reconnect and encourage people to take steps towards rekindling old friendships. They hope the findings will prompt people to reach out to those they have lost touch with in their lives. "Only about one-third of participants actually followed through on their desire to reach out to an old friend," noted the researchers, emphasizing the need for people to take action in reconnecting with valued past friendships.

Key Takeaways

• Reconnecting with old friends as intimidating as making new ones.
• 70% felt neutral/negative about reaching out to rekindle friendships.
• Fears of rejection and indifference prevent people from reconnecting.
• Practicing social connections boosts confidence to reach out to old friends.
• Only 1/3 of participants followed through on desire to reconnect.